From Zayin

 

My Dearest Rhett,

Like many in this world with brilliant minds,

you felt too much, saw too much and ....everything was just too much.

You were amazing in all you did, and boy did you try everything!

You always had the latest and greatest gadgets, and were happy to share everything you had with us.  You had passions and this incredible thirst for living and experiencing new things.  

As a child, I was quiet and boring, still you felt that I was interesting enough to bring me to your elementary school for show and tell. It was an embarrassing experience for me, but it was an honor to be known as your cousin.

I remember the time you got that Nintendo video game with more than 100 games on it.  I never was interested in playing, particularly because I was terrible, but I liked to sit, watch and cheer you on as you passed level after level.  You would always want to compete with me, testing me, trying to see who was smarter in math.  You probably were, but I would shut down those assessments before we could get a clear winner. 

 

I had a hard time making friends, but you had so many and always included me in your plans.  While your friends thought I was a nerd and annoying, you never made me feel left out.  Visiting you to play in your never finished tree house (I thought Uncle was supposed to build walls!), building pillow/blanket forts in your living room, playing hide and seek in the dark in your room...those were highlights of my childhood.

I was always amused by how happy you would be to brush Barbie's hair.

My most vivid happy memories as a child were always with you.  

As we got older, geography distanced us, but your presence during family gatherings was vital to me. You made the effort to see me each time I came back in town and it touched my heart.  I always thought the best of you and I was blind to see the private battles you faced as we all struggled to find our footing in life.  I regret not spending more one on one time with you.  I wish we had more time to have sleepovers like when we were kids. Life was simple back then, we just played together and laughed together...

I regret not having had deeper conversations with you as we grew to adulthood.  You enriched my life, when I was awkward, you never made me feel less of a person...when people made fun of me, you always made me feel loved.  Your tenderheartedness and unselfishness will never be forgotten.

I will never stop hurting from losing you, but thinking of you makes me remember to be more mindful of other people's inner conflicts and show greater personal interest.  We both were surrounded by darkness from the beginning of our lives, you coped better than many could.  I am in awe of what you were able to do despite it all.  When my husband heard of your motorcycle accident, he said “Rhett was my only friend in the family.” You had a way of making him feel welcome, as you did with everyone else you came in contact with.  Even though I never got a chance to express it, It always brought me joy when I saw your name come up trying to connect during our weekly family Zoom meetings.  My visits to CA were never complete if I didn't see you and your family. You are my brother.  You were my best cousin/friend when we were so young and not so innocent.

Many wonder why this happened. It is not God's will that you died.  He did not cause this, nor did he want this to happen. God gave us the ability to use our free will to choose what we want to do with our lives. But because we were given the gift of free will, we are also subject to unforeseen occurrences or unexpected events.

A wise man observed, as recorded at Ec. 9:11-

"I have seen something further under the sun,

that the swift do not always win the race,

nor do the mighty win the battle,

nor do the wise always have the food,

nor do the intelligent always have the riches,

nor do those with knowledge always have success,

because time and unexpected events

overtake them all."

Life hasn't always been fair. You have seen the truth of these words.

While many who suffer from depression and emotional issues fall into practices that ruin their lives,  you somehow managed to lead a full and productive life.  You could have given up many times, but your love for your family and love for life motivated you to keep going.  Life is hard for everyone, yet you made the best of it despite your limitations and

obstacles.  

My greatest comfort is knowing that God's will is for all of us to live. Death is not a natural part of human life, But we have a hope, expressed in 1 Corinthians 15:26 where it says "the last enemy, death, is to be brought to nothing."

“Regarding the resurrection of the dead...He is the God, not of the dead, but of the living.” (Matthew 22: 31-33) We are sure that Jehovah God has the desire to resurrect our loved ones.

I am waiting to see you again.

Until then, I will miss you, love you, my pododo.

Your adoring cousin,

Zayin